My boyfriend got a lap dance and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this?
October 11th, 2009 Posted by: admin
OK so my boyfriends best friend is getting married and he went to the bachelor party. I went to the bachlorette party but our stripper canceled last second. When he got home he and all the guys told us there’s canceled as well…I asked my bf to double check on what they said (because he normally always tells me everything) and he said that they just ended up staying at the house and drank, etc…When I asked him later he said they had gone to a club (not strip club) and finally later (because i’m not so naive to think guys wouldn’t go do something like that at a bachelor party and wanted to ask one last time to give him a chance) he said yes, they had been to a strip club. Now, I was totally expecting that they were gonna have a stripper/go to a strip club from the beginning so I was upset that he didn’t feel like he could tell me that. He said it was because the other guys told him not to since our stripper didn’t show up. The next day it popped in mind to ask if he had a lap dance…he admitted he did and I honestly have to say it broke my heart…If he woulda told me from the beginning it would be so different but because he kept it from me until I had to ask him directly. it makes me question what else could have happened there. He said he was planning to tell me and that he didn’t wanna do it right away because he was scared I would be mad.
I’m very very hurt but not mad…I thought we had a very honest relationship and told each other everything. I really don’t know how to take it but now I can’t get it out of mind why he really didn’t want me to know…Am I in the wrong for being hurt? I mean I know I don’t mind looking as long as no touching goes on and he said he didn’t touch and neither did she but I’m still hurt why he didn’t come clean or if there’s more to this than I want to know… Please help.
By: Mocha1211
I’m very very hurt but not mad…I thought we had a very honest relationship and told each other everything. I really don’t know how to take it but now I can’t get it out of mind why he really didn’t want me to know…Am I in the wrong for being hurt? I mean I know I don’t mind looking as long as no touching goes on and he said he didn’t touch and neither did she but I’m still hurt why he didn’t come clean or if there’s more to this than I want to know… Please help.
By: Mocha1211
Tags: Best Friend, Honest Relationship, Stripper
October 13th, 2009 at 22:19
i would of read it but too much its not like he slept with the girl
October 17th, 2009 at 02:09
u should be upset and tell him thats not right if u gave a guy a lap dance he would be mad
October 20th, 2009 at 11:38
It’s a bachelor party. It shouldn’t break your heart, it’s all in fun.
October 23rd, 2009 at 12:18
u know he lying. u should be upset! i would be
October 26th, 2009 at 13:41
no, of course your not in the wrong neithers he, id understand if you were married and that happend, but your just dating kinda thing, that doesnt mean e cna cheat and all sorts but sometimes its nice too see other woman its either he does that or he has an affair, just spice up your relationship a bit, wear **** outfits and use toys and play scripts, maybe he just feels he needs attention some place else, Just make him feel wanted and make him feel ***** !!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 11:59
He probably didn’t want to tell you because of that very reason…HE KNEW IT WAS GOING TO UPSET YOU! He is a guy..So what he got a lap dance. They last for 2.15 minutes. The stripper ***** got 20 bucks and moved on to the next. Dancers (strippers) are in it for the money not the dude…He is a money sign to her not a new boyfriend. You shouldn’t be hurt at all by this. He comes home to you doesn’t he?
October 27th, 2009 at 15:23
Just baggage in his closet. From past relationships.. or maybe even past issues with you.. when he’s told you things and you’ve gotten more upset then he expected.
He just picked the path of least resistance.. Easier to pretend it didnt happen and avoid a possible fight.
Dont read to much into it other then you need to find opportunities to reinforce how much you appreciate the truth..
Heck.. bug him to take you to the strip bar and ask him to buy you a couples lapdance with the girl he got his dance from.
Even if that kind of thing isnt enjoyable.. PRETEND like it is enjoyable. Not only will it be fun for the both of you.. he’s less likely to be scared to tell you the truth in situations like this in the future.
October 28th, 2009 at 13:31
It would be unusual for a guy to openly admit to his girlfriend that he had a lap dance. The reason he didn’t tell you is supported by your reaction. It’s not a matter of being mad, or sad, or hurt, etc. just that you did in fact have a negative “hurt” reaction, and wanted to avoid that whole thing. Overtime he probably would have let it slip out, after he had a chance to gauge your reaction beforehand. It’s not that he was dishonest, just trying to protect you from being hurt, and probably trying to cover his **** some from getting in “trouble”. Which is what happened anyway (from a guy’s perspective)
are you in the wrong? I don’t believe one is ever in the wrong for getting hurt- after all they are your emotions and they are what they are. However, it is very common to get a lap dance at strip clubs, it is very common that he wouldn’t tell you, and it is very common that you would get hurt. So really, it’s not THAT big of a deal.
I would urge that “Going forward” you 2 set some basic groundrules and clarify ahead of time that neither will get pissed or hurt, as long as your committments are help in priority.
January 12th, 2010 at 09:25
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